Cousins Please...!
What happened to togetherness? Well, it’s the festive season and now that guys don’t travel upcountry like before they will flood the beaches and Pwani has to acknowledge that watu wa bara wamefika kweli! More so now that Uber chopper has made flights quite affordable.
Previously, before Sir Matiang’i (bless this man) came to their rescue, the poor children were rotating from school – tuition – and Naivasha or any other holiday destination. Please note, I’m not against these holidays but still they need to know of their origin, bond with grandma, grandpa and other village folks. Remember, this is where they polish their vernacular. This is where they get to know what it feels like to have a grandma not just by name. You know that kafeeling when grandma defends you from other cousins even if you are in the wrong? (Wink! wink!) Nothing beats that!
Well, children of today hardly know each other, they meet once during those rare weddings and funerals where nobody introduces them. They live far away from each other and don’t visit shags anymore. When they do, they miss their cousins because they too went to Chaka Ranch and life goes on. Dear parents, wait until your daughter brings home your nephew as the father of the kid she is carrying in her arms. Donge!
Close knit family establishes a firm foundation for them to learn to be loyal, find their own footing and sense of belonging you know watu wetu for real. It’s a tragedy if a person is an only kid and no cousins to fight for them against bullying in school, act mean in childhood games, act grown up in their teen hood and we see these people grow to be insecure wrecks and baby adults. Well, not always.
Cousin affair is not altogether a rosy affair as I made believe earlier. They can sometimes be sent from hell you know. Cousins who make your life miserable. They show up at your doorstep without warning, consume everything in your kitchen, wear your clothes and make you watch their favourite television shows and sometimes you have to entertain their devilish friends and better still you will be dragged out to have fun… their way!
You will be introduced to millions of faces with:
Them: “This is the cousin I was telling you about.”
Stranger: “Oh yeah?”
Unceremoniously, you find yourself in tight and rough bear hugs or get those looks urban chics pull on strangers they would rather not have in their circles.
Some lucky to have kids will bring their little brats over to say hi and your house will be in total disarray with a few broken glasses and the remote control will be smashed on the wall and dear cousin will just scold baba who in turn assumes her and gets something else to break or dismantle.
By this time you have had enough and can’t wait to see their backs with the promise of come back soon.
“I’ve had so much fun with you guys.” You plaster a plastic smile as you hug each goodbye.
Back in the house you are simmering in anger as you put everything else in order. “Damn!” you curse, as you throw broken pieces of your favourite china in the dustbin. A gift from mama when she last visited. From today you will be operating your television manually because the remote control went in the dustbin too.
Tired and angry you decide to take a nap. Immediately you open the bedroom door, a strong smell of nail polish hits hard but the sight is far much worse.
Your make up kit is no more and lies on the floor. The contents a mess on your bed and on the floor. Your body lotion, hair-food and gel now in a fine paste has been well smeared with skilful hands, on your sheets and blankets. Somebody really took their precious time. Forget the terrible twos, six-year-old girls can make good painters! You scream once, race back to the living room looking for that vodka, you need it badly!
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